Mary Sue
Above all else, Chakat stories are Mary Sue. The protagonist is loved by everybody, except the enemy, which everyone hates. The universe has to revolve around this character. This is extremely evident whenever you discuss the stories in Chakat mailing lists...unless you say that the author is the greatest writer who ever lived, your comments are not welcome. A Mary Sue breaks free from the canon to indulge in tons of unfair advantages. Such as this: While the Jedi is a cloistered order, so no one is supposed to actually own anything, my parents were very well off and I was their only child. So when they died, I inherited a small fortune. As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve never been a traditional Jedi. I invested the fortune and made more money than I know what to do with. I don’t know why, but a few years ago I began hiding the money in accounts all over the galaxy. I have money in almost every sector, the Republic, the Hapes Consortium, the Corporate Sector, and several others. In the years after the Temple fell, that money would save a great many lives. Another example of raping canon: You could call her my child because the ships of Zonama Sekot are alive. After having heard legends of their superior ships, the Jedi set out to find the planet Zonama Sekot. Almost ten years ago a young Jedi named Anakin Skywalker and his master Obi-Wan Kenobi found it. I however, had discovered the planet a few years before, following in the footsteps of a fellow Jedi named Vergere. After discovering my purpose there, and my knowledge of Vergere, the Sekotan people allowed me to participate in their ‘ship-birthing’ ceremony. I was selected by twenty seed partners, which was unheard of, usually only one or two attach to a person. ''-from Eclipse Saga by By Joe Schoder '' ''Notice the extreme Mary Sue line "which was unheard of." The hero is gifted in everything, liked by everyone and has no weaknesses. The following is a Mary Sue moment. Note two important ingredients. First, the protagonist is given the galaxy's greatest prize and pretends to act shocked, with very little justification ("I had, of course, commanded troops in battle many times before" doesn't count because it's just an excuse to preface the award rather than part of the story). Secondly, EVERYONE is willing to give their trust. He has no enemies, no skeptics, no jealous rivals. In short, he (hie?) is a Mary Sue. ''“I’ll get right to the point. This fleet that we’ve assembled has ships that were drawn from all over the Republic. Almost every fleet is represented here, and we’ve been mulling over who should lead this diverse group.” He continued, “I could take command, but not everyone here knows me and I believe that our leader should be someone that every person here knows they can trust. We have all discussed this and have unanimously decided that, as a Jedi Master and a war hero, you are the most logical choice to lead.” I was caught completely off guard, I simply looked around the room with my jaw partly open. As I looked at all of the faces around the table, every one was staring expectantly at me, each one willing to trust their life to me.''And then come the Mary Sue themed reassurances that never turn out to be false: ''I started slightly as a hand came to rest on my shoulder, Dimalya whispered in my ear, “Hunt the moment, my love. Stop worrying about what could go wrong, I know that you’re the best person for the job and so do they. It’s not as though you’ll be doing this on your own, Ta’ilan will still be here, and so will I for that matter, I do have some experience in this area from my Starfleet training."''Here, an opportunity presents itself for someone to knock the character's chip off his shoulder, but nobody does so: ''I brought my thumb across my throat and one of the Captains shut off the transmitter. I looked around the room, “If you will accept him, I will make Admiral Ta’ilan my second in command... no objections? Fine, that’s all I have at the moment, you’re all dismissed.” The room quickly emptied and I walked over to Ta’ilan. '' And, of course, the hero is never put in a comprimising position in battle: ''Shi swung hir blade in a wide arc around to the right, it was a mistake and we both knew it and we both knew that this fight was over. I blocked hir blade high in the outer zone with enough force to throw hir arm out away from hir body. Before shi could recover and bring hir blade back in I reversed my block and brought my blade in to point at hir neck, winning the match. We collected our gear and headed back to our room. “I’ll beat you next time” Dimalya panted, “And I’ll be using my own blade to do it.”''And then we have the standard cliche of eclipsing the canon characters in significance and/or power (such as Anakin and Luke): ''Had I used the Force to defeat those troopers it would have been purely of the Dark Side. I would have torn them limb from limb, I would have reached out and crushed the core of this ship like an egg, then shredded every mind on board. I would have gone on to become one of the most powerful Sith lords the galaxy has ever known. Also, we have two characters, whom, when given their own space by the narrator, have thoughts centering only on the protagonist, and their sudden ability to have children, nothing else: '' When I got my breath back I asked with a slightly wheezy laugh, “What’s got into you?” Shi couldn’t contain hirself as shi fairly danced around the room, “If we’re lucky... A cub!” Shi grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room, “Come on! I’ll explain on the way.” Dr. Corlan stood in the doorway to her new office, a knowing smile on her face as she watched them disappear around the corner. Chief Engineer Behr jumped, banging his head on the open panel he was examining as a joyous whoop echoed down the corridor. He looked up, rubbing his head, as Drake and Dimalya ran past. I wonder what they’re so happy about, he thought.'' Here's another example. Note how the story not only rapes canon characters (Samuel Jackson preaching against marriage?), but once Mary Sue leaves the council, everyone leaves the canon characters to join Mary Sue's team: '' We took a turbolift up to the Council chamber. I opened the door and we stepped through. Looking straight ahead I saw Yoda, with Master Windu on his left and Master Ki-Adi-Mundi, present by real-time holographic transmission on his right. “Ah, Master Drake. Returned you have. Heard we did, of your actions on GR11365, and who you met.” “Yes, we were confused as to why we heard this from General Ta’ilan instead of you” added Master Windu. “Perhaps you should introduce us to your friend before we continue” said a familiar voice from my left. I looked over and saw Master Kenobi next to Master Agen Kolar. “This is Dimalya, my padawan” I looked directly into Yoda’s eyes, “and my wife.” I saw an almost imperceptible twitch from one of the masters to my right as Yoda’s ears drooped in disappointment. I glanced over to where I saw the twitch and saw the young knight, Anakin Skywalker. I wonder what he’s doing here, knights aren’t allowed on the council and he’s far too young to be a master. I turned back as Master Windu began speaking. “You disregard one of the founding principles of the Order?” “Jedi cannot marry. It leads to lapses in judgment, to anger.” Added Ki-Adi-Mundi. “The fear of loss leads to the Dark Side.” Said Master Kolar. “If you have children we run the risk of creating a Jedi Family Hegemony, where our children inherit our power we risk corruption and the rebirth of the Sith.” Master Windu continued. Master Yoda sighed deeply, “Only one solution there is... Leave the Order, you must.” I turned as Anakin stood up; a strange look crossed his face as he looked at me. Then he said “What kind of reasons are those, his judgment seems fine to me, I feel no fear in them. The only anger I feel from them is directed at you for denouncing their love. How could you say you’re worried about the Dark side and then just throw them out like that, wouldn’t it be better to keep them close, watch them so they don’t fall?” “You are merely an observer here Anakin, the decision is made” said Master Windu, “We will speak of this, later.” I saw that look cross Anakin’s face again before he sat down. I could tell that Dimalya was furious, shi was about to explode and just lay into them about how idiotic their rules were. I laid my hand on hir arm and shook my head “It won’t do any good...” Shi looked down and I felt hir anger drain away. “There!” Anakin blurted out, “You all felt that, you felt how angry shi was. We were all ready for hir outburst, but all it took was a few words and all that anger is gone. How can you think that their love would ever lead to the Dark side?!” “Sit down Anakin, the decision is made” said Master Windu. I looked around the room. I let a little of the frustration I was feeling show and said, “I have been part of this Order for over a hundred years, I’ve trained countless Jedi. I’ve made no secret of the fact that my methods are unorthodox; all I can say is that I know our love will not lead to Darkness. The Code is wrong, there can be emotion and peace, existing in one being at the same time.” I took Dimalya’s hand and draped my wing over hir back. “I pity you if you can never allow yourselves to know the peace that being with the one you love brings. It may influence one’s judgment, but I consider that an acceptable risk. The Force is the Force, nothing more. If you have evil in your heart, then your power will be evil; if you have good in your heart, then your power will be good. That is the truth of the Jedi, the one thing that can set you free, yet you actively avoid it. I know the decision is made, you won’t go against the principles of the Order. But, perhaps it is time to change those principles. Our Order is stagnating; the Jedi cannot continue to follow these rigid principles and hope to survive.” I turned to leave, putting my wing around Dimalya. Master Windu’s voice brought me to a halt. “Your lightsabers. Leave them here, they are a symbol of the Jedi Order and are not needed by one who is outcast.” I growled low in my throat, “Come and take them.” I could feel their surprise at that; I don’t think anyone had ever threatened the Council in their own chamber before. Dimalya put hir hand on my muzzle, I leaned into hir and we walked out. When we reached the foyer we were stopped by three Jedi, one was a Master who I had trained, the others wore the robes of knights. “What do you want Master Doon?” I asked. “To join you, Master Drake.” I looked at him, confused. He said, “Don’t be so surprised. You trained me, don’t you think that some of your attitude would rub off. We all heard what you said to the Council, we agree, it’s time for a change. But, like you said, they never will.” I smiled slightly and we resumed walking, they followed behind. As we passed the training courts I noticed we had picked up another master and four knights. Then when we passed the library another master, nine knights, and five apprentices came out and joined us. I was leading quite the troop when we left the Temple, 23 Jedi. I never had been able to turn away anyone who wanted my help. We had to get four more speeders; I bought them this time instead of renting. ''-ECLIPSE SAGA By Joe Schoder, from the Chakatheaven Yahoo group